I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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