Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
