Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
