I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
