What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
