i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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