it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We left the knife in your bed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
