Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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