It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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