Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
