fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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