we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
