Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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