I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
