so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
