he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
