We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
