this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
