i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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