Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
