I want to walk on stilts...naked
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
