tonight lets celebrate not being married
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
