you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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