Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
