He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
