We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
