she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
