wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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