It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
