So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
