it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize