Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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