and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize