I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
