Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
