You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
