the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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