Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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