She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
