Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
