in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
