Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
