Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
