Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
