You can't special order awesome
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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