mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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