you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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