One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there's paper in my vomit.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
