Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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