She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
