Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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