Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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