just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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