My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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