Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
