Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
