Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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