I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
