So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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