My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
