dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
